Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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