I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
operation have a gay friend backfired
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
