Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
