; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
