tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize