I'm gonna have a badass scar
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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