I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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