People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
