well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
