i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
