I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
