I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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