birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I could fuck to npr.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
