About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Two words: blizzard sex
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
