You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
