Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
