im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
