If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Church boner. Awkwardddd
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Randomize
