I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
