get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
thus making me awesome and them whores
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
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I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
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dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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