yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
