We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
