She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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