she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Randomize
