that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
