Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Randomize