a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
