Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
