i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
