That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
