She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
