I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
