I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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