So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize