I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
