Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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