You made me cry and you don't even care
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
