my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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