I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
we made out on top of his cat.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
