We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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