Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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