Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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