Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
