Well apparently he's into motor boating.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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