So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
