this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
