Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I don't deserve a penis
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
