So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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