Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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