so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
i now understand why vodka
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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