I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
