I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
handjob tips. give me some.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
