we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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