You're so nebulous sometimes
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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