Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
there was a trapeze. enough said
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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