Can i not drive my cunt home
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
