I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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