i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
