u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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