he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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