We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
