Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
