mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
